New Year Already?

I'm determined to make my 28th year on this planet my best ever.

I mean, I havent done so well with the past 27 years. You would think I havent set the standard very high.
I havent written the best selling novel I know is in my head.
I havent met the love of my life. Or if I have, then I have failed to recognise him.
I never finished my university degree.
I have never managed to stay at a job for more than 4 years.
I have never been happy with my body or my face.
I still live in my childhood home.
I believe I will always have trouble telling the difference between left and right.
I don't think that any new pet could replace my beloved departed cat Sebastian.
I never thought that I would lose my mum so young.
I ignore my finances because Im too scared to face up to what is actually going on.

I plan to completely turn my life around by the time I am 29.

Slowly but surely my life is falling into place. I still feel like I haven't fully grown into my skin - I'm not comfortable with who I am at the moment. They say you can tell how a person really is when they are by themselves in a public arena. Waiting for the train, in an appointment room, sat alone in a cafe. I know I look wary, I fidget a lot. I feel vulnerable without sunglasses, ipod, book, drink, something, anything so I don't have to think about what other people may be thinking of me.

Thats how we are programmed though, isn't it? When we catch someone looking at us, don't we immediately wonder if there is something in our teeth, if our hair is out of place, if our skirt is tucked into our knickers? Don't we? Don't you? Don't you??

Ok, ok, I'm well aware that not everybody has the astronomical amount of hangs ups about themselves as I do. But atleast I am aware of that awareness and so if you want to confront me about my hang ups you are going to have to put up a bloody good fight, mister. However, I digress.

So I turn 28 in a few weeks. I've already set the wheels into motion - Im exercising regularly, eating well, cutting out beer and carbs, getting more sleep than I usually do. I'm working hard at work, I'm about to move into a cityside apartment, and I'm weeks away from a poolside holiday overseas. I've taken giants leaps and bounds in getting over my ex, I've messaged a boy I like and even if he doesnt like me back, atleast I will have tried. I've tried.

You know, apparently it only takes seven years for your body to completely regenerate, and not a single cell or organism that was there before will remain. You literally become a whole new person. Well I dont have seven years. I'm going to do it in one.

Reincarnation aside, if this is the one shot we get at life, I am very rapidly learning that I have to make it count.

But I would gladly go down in a flame if a flame is what it takes to remember my name - John Mayer.

Good luck in life and love,

Honey xoxo