A Lukewarm Reception.

Thank goodness for bad reception. I just tried to call my ex, drunK and disillusioned. I couldnt get through. I'll be glad in the morning. 

Here kitty kitty...

Just thinking up random names for cats.
*Louis Kuitton
*Soybean
*Tofu
*Sashimi
*Potatto The Gatto
*Mr Whiskers
*Fluffington Greybeard
*Humbug

HonourableMentions
*Margaret Scratcher
*Miaow Zedong
*Chairman Miaow
*Heinz

Good luck in life and love...(and cats),

Honey xxx

Fish In A Barrel

I did warn you. I did.
Littlemisslucky is back. Yes, I am delving again into that rancid cesspool that is the dating pond and I am going all the way - Internet dating.
Its mostly out of curiousity that I'm doing so. Its also out of weariness, trepidation, and fear.
I initiated contact with 8 hand picked men in the last few hours. Hand picked for their sense of humour, rugged good looks and ability to use full grammar and not bastardise words like 2nite and l8r.
To be fair to me, I've had 5 replies, all very positive. Now if thats not something to boost a single girls spirits, I'm in the wrong game.
I wanted to write here one mail that I got some someone. No picture, no real clues in his profile but he contacted me all the same.

Hey littlemisslucky...My name is Peter and I am a 45 year old lawyer in the city. I do not normally chase younger women but I read your profile and in this case I could not resist...
Firstly I must say that you are breathtakingly lovely and I found your profile description interesting and alluring. Plus I sense you have a free spirit, fun, optimism and live life to the full which are values I love and believe in...what a walking contradiction you are...love/vixen/slutty/intelligent/mature/immature/playful...maybe like me...To satisfy your superficial side I do have a pic on msn..But I do look 46... I sense you are intelligent and fun and would love to discover the myriad of emotions which make you who you are...Peter xxx

It is very touching in a sense. But he sounds almost apologetic, which I find slightly off putting. I've learnt today that it is very very hard to initiate contact with someone you have never met before. So even if I'm not interested, he deserves a reply. He took the time to write to me personally, and I will thank him for that. I hope that people I wrote to today will do the same.

Building up my karma points here, people...

Good luck in life and love,

Honey xxx

SMS or SOS?

Take a deep breath. Can you sense that?The smell of relationship discord is strong tonight.
So I've been here, in my old stomping ground now for three days.
Down the street lives and breathes my old buddy. How many times have I seen him since I've been back? None.
Thats right, none.
This in itself is odd, as I used to crave his touch, crave his kisses all over my body. Now, the less i see of him, the more i don't want to see him.
You will know, dear reader that I refer to The Boy Next Door.
Once held under his spell by passionate sex and kind, if misleading words, I am no longer enthralled by his texts full of desperation and longing.

Does this have something to do with Irish? Irish the emotionally unavailable yet obviously fond of me boy? I presume it does, but we'll have to delve into that another time.

Allow me to explain how my affection for the boy next door turned into something burgeoning into distaste.
The following conversations take place through SMS.

Thursday
10.55 pm
Boy Next Door - I wish you were close by so I could hold you.
Honey - So do I! Im so bored right now. But I'll be home tomorrow for the next few days. Perhaps we can catch up then?
B - Sounds good baby. Cant wait to get my hands on you. I'm already hard thinking about it.
H - Cant wait for you to get your hands on me...or my mouth on you. Speak tomorrow Sweetie.

Friday
6.30 pm
B - Hey sweetie, you around?
H - Hi babes! Yeah, I just arrived at mine, and about to sit down for dinner.
B - Cool, Im still at work, but I'll give you a call later?
H - Sure, i'll chat then.
B - Merry Christmas sweetie! Cant wait to see you.
B - Merry Christmas baby.

11.30pm
B - How is your christmas going, sexy?
H - Good babe, just getting drunk and playing karaoke. You know how we are, lol. When do you wanna catch up?
B- Now, sweetie? I'm kinda tired and I also have to be up early in the morning, if thats cool with you?
H - Uh, its Christmas Eve. Im not leaving here, especially after I've been away for so long. Sorry.
B - You cant even sneak away for a quickie? Pretend like you have to drop something off?
H - I find that really offensive actually. I dont now if I'll be available tonight.
B - Im sorry babe. I just want you so bad I'll do anything to see you.
H - Ok. Merry christmas again. Good night.

Saturday
1.00am
B - Hey sweetie, you up?
H - Yeah, just watching movies. Might go to bed soon.
B - You should come around and get naked :)

Sunday
4.30pm
B - Where's My Honey??
H - Im out shopping for groceries. I'll come and see you later tonight maybe?
B - Sounds good babe. I am here for a couple of hours before I go to my uncle's . Not sure what time i'll get back sweetie.
H - Well I am about to make dinner forour family boxing day thing so i wont be availabe fpr the next few hours. Shall we leave it to chance?
B - We shall :)

Monday
1.44 am
B - Im guessing no...?

1.57am
B - Hey Sweeetie, Im guessing too late?

2.12am
B = Night, aye.

2.44am
B - Not going to happen, I guess. Take it easy. Not doing this anymore.

4.42am
H - Aww, poor B is grumpy now. Sorry for being asleep and not waking up hearing a text msg beep! If you really wanted me you should have called after i didnt answer back. Your choice to end this, B. Sorry for not being available 24/7 like I used to. But don't you dare get the shits with me for being asleep at 2am. See ya.

This of course was a mad variation of what I really wanted to say,after waking up to find 4 texts from him on my phone. I could have added a Go To Hell in there, or an I'm so sorry baby. But I think the truth is now, I'm over him. I'm so over him I need a new word for over.

You know what, for someone who has a loving girlfriend, he is being pretty ballsy with me. And that shit ain't ok with me anymore.

Maybe I should start banking on the luck of the Irish.

Good luck in life and love,

Honey xxx

Waiting For Godot...Or Not.

I realise to the untrained eye it may have seemed like I was simply waiting around the house, waiting for him to call. I was not.
I realise my reluctance to be further than 3 feet from the laptop at any given moment would seem as though I was expecting a message from him. I was not.
I realise it could be mistaken as enthusiasm for seeing him that explained the frisson of energy in my chest when I thought about him. It was not.

But there could be no mistaking the look of disappointment in my eyes as the weekend rolled to a close and I had not seen him.

I had been sucked into the trap again, and like a fool, I let myself look like a complete and utter moron.

I should have known better than to believe his kind words. I definitely didn't believe his apologetic words, and he knows that.

He is not used to me standing on my own two feet and making demands. He is not used to being refused, and having cited to him the time of night as being a reason. He has become accustomed to calling when he wants, and I rearrange everything to accomodate him. He now has to show me a little more respect.

Its a funny thing, respect, especially when you are talking about an arrangement between two consenting people. Yes, I am referring to my fuck buddy. Now I'm sure you know the premise upon which a relationship like this can exist. There cannot be any overt pulling or pushing, otherwise the delicate nature of it gets unbalanced. No party must make demands that the other cannot meet within reason. However no party can be offended or feel put out if the other party is unable to meet the reasonable demands.

The understanding lies in that you will only get together if one or more parties has struck out. There has rarely been a time where I have chosen my FB over someone else. And so this is where the lack of respect comes into it.

How can you really respect someone who you only use for sex?

The problem with my FB now is that he is not showing me the utmost respect - thats fine. Thats exactly how I reciprocate. But its when he starts showing me disrespect, that I need to put my foot down. I dont care how well he bends me over backwards or makes me orgasm 8 times in a night, if he is a prick to me, then I should not put up with it.

Thats because I'm not in love with you, and my heart has no chance of getting hurt. My pride, maybe. My groin area, definitely. But my heart is off limits to you.

I made the mistake of letting this boy disrespect me, and now you can be bloody sure that this is never going to happen again.

Isn't it weird though, how much you do put up with people's crap because you love them, or you think you are in love with them. I think I addressed this in an earlier post, so I won't rehash old stuff. I will just state, that love makes the world go round...I wonder if its because we are so busy chasing after the one we love that makes it spin.

Good luck in life and love,

Honey xxx

Kissing Frogs.

Litlemisslucky is back. Those of you who have been privy to my nocturnal ramblings will know exactly what this means.
Those of you who have not, please prepare yourself for the worst.

My new motto in life - you have to kiss a lot of frogs to find a prince.

Watch this space.

Good luck in life and love,

Honey xxx

Return of the Slack.

I think this is my third post know where I've started off by apologising to my non existent readers for being so slack. I cant even discipline myself enough to write a little something every day. Well you know what? Fuck you.
As if you care anyway whether I've written or not. As if the incoherent ramblings that I come up with on a scarily regular basis mean anything to you other than a reason to imperceptibly tut. As if anyone realises that what I'm saying drowning, not waving.
I mean, thats my role in life isnt it? To be the one that everyone can make fun of, to be the one that people invite to parties because I'm loud and strangers can gel over my lack of social graces. I'm a human icebreaker - just add alcohol.

I begrudgingly admit - this is a role that i play well. And for a while, I revelled in such a role. It afforded me a notoriety that was amusing for a time.

But people can often grow too familiar and it can be offensive and hurtful sometimes. The trouble is, I cant deny any of it.

If you are reading this with a growing sense of alarm and recognition, I salute you sister. Its tough being the butt of everyone's joke.

If you accuse me of being a party animal who doesnt know when to say no, that's me.

If you accuse me of being frivolous with money and not having a safe financial status at any given moment, thats me.

If you accuse me of being lackadaisial about my friends and the effort thats put in to see each pther, thats me.

If you accuse me of being something of a procrastinator, thats me, tomorrow.

If you accuse me of being promiscuous and a little relaxed with my sexual graces, that's me.

But when you call me a drunken whore with little or no morals - why are you so surprised that I might be offended by that?

Sure, we put on a brave face, and laugh it off with everyone else. But take the time to notice that after that, the glass may tremble a little as we lift it to our lips. We may take a few more sips than is necessary, so we dont have to make conversation for a few precious seconds. If we do have to say something, our voice may catch slightly in our throats. And then the bravado kicks in. Because what can we say to defend ourselves?

I was just being me. And this weekend, I was crucified for being me. It kind of makes me not want to be me anymore.

Good luck in life and love,

Honey xxx